Psych Eval

I have been psychologically cleared for the surgery! Woohoo! The Psychologist went through my tests with me. She was nice but I always hate going to a new person because you have to rehash stuff you have already dealt with. My testing showed over all I have it together. I am a little compulsive but that can be a good thing when adjusting to the surgery and all the behavioral changes I need to comply with to succeed. I am dealing well with anxiety these days. I am having "depression breaking through my meds". Which means I am more depressed than my medicine (or current dosage) can deal with. Well, duh! I didn't like it when my doctor had changed my medicine because I usually gain a lot of weight during those changes. And I did gain about 15 lbs in that last change but it was the trigger that made me start down this path so what can you say? Maybe it was meant to be. I have just been beginning to realize that the meds aren't quite right. It always takes me awhile to adjust to them. I noticed that before the switch I was more apt to go do something new, hang out with friends, initiate outings, etc. Now I am so tired and down that any opportunity to stay home and preferably in bed is a good thing. Even to the point I rather stay home then go to work. Not because work is bad (anymore) but because I am just tired.

We are hoping that losing weight will alleviate a lot of the depression and anxiety. It is an eternal conundrum for me - what came first - the depression or the fat? I have always had some sort of depression since high school. I have also always been on some sort of diet - usually spurred on by my father - since about age 13. So really - what came first - the depression or the fat/diet? Since both started at the same time I find it hard to discern between the two. I hope that eventually I can regulate depression with out medicine... but until then I do not look down on better living through pharmacy... especially if it gets me out of the house.

I have another doctor's appointment Friday that I hope will deal with my medical clearance, my final labs and my dosage. I need to be able to do more than sleep when I am at home. I need to clean house. I also need to call the Surgeon's office and check on insurance and see how that is going. Just one more step.