Wednesday, February 21, 2007
One step closer.
I called today and made my last pre op appointment that is outside of the Surgery Room. It is on Monday. It is all the EKG and Blood Work plus my letter of clearance. I took my measurements Sunday. I am starting to move more. I have started writing down everything that goes in my mouth (using dailyplate.com). I am positive and ready. Woohoo! Let's go!
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Cowboy Up!
I need to call the doctor today. I need to discuss the self pay and get going. I have procrastinated for a week. I need to get going.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Almost There....
I am very lucky. Both my parents are being very supportive. Mentally and financially. The insurance not going through put me in a rough patch but I am digging out of it. I have talked to some finance people and both of the folks. I am almost there. I just have to organze it all.
I need to take measurments to track my progress. I need to start on my exercises and treadmill again. I need to organize and clean the house so I don't have to worry about that while I am working through all this. I have started on that already. I have a few food staples to get: broth, low sodium V-8, low carb soy milk.
I bought the first round of protein shakes from Unjury. I have started using them to get more protien and start "eating" breakfast again. I drink them when I haven't eaten to get something in my system. They only thing I need to do now is get off of 2% milk. This will be hard. It was one thing I wouldn't give up while dieting. I love milk and I love 2%. More to the point I hate skim. I have some Hood Calorie Countdown to get used to and I may try some soy milk. I can tolerate that stuff. Its a consistency issue.
I have been very good about not falling into the "Last Supper" trap. Although I have been induldging in things I don't think I will be eating for awhile but not to any excess. While doing that I have been practicing eating protien first, then "good carbs" veggies and some fruit. Been chewing thoroughly. In doing so I eat slower and get full faster. I had to keep eating "well" because I was afriad I wouldn't be able to afford the surgery so I have been keeping down the "diet" path (for lack of a better word).
My next move is trying to figure out what I need to eat in a day (calorie, protien, fat and carb wise) and how to sort all that out and come up with a schedule that will work for me. I have to plan plan plan.
I need to take measurments to track my progress. I need to start on my exercises and treadmill again. I need to organize and clean the house so I don't have to worry about that while I am working through all this. I have started on that already. I have a few food staples to get: broth, low sodium V-8, low carb soy milk.
I bought the first round of protein shakes from Unjury. I have started using them to get more protien and start "eating" breakfast again. I drink them when I haven't eaten to get something in my system. They only thing I need to do now is get off of 2% milk. This will be hard. It was one thing I wouldn't give up while dieting. I love milk and I love 2%. More to the point I hate skim. I have some Hood Calorie Countdown to get used to and I may try some soy milk. I can tolerate that stuff. Its a consistency issue.
I have been very good about not falling into the "Last Supper" trap. Although I have been induldging in things I don't think I will be eating for awhile but not to any excess. While doing that I have been practicing eating protien first, then "good carbs" veggies and some fruit. Been chewing thoroughly. In doing so I eat slower and get full faster. I had to keep eating "well" because I was afriad I wouldn't be able to afford the surgery so I have been keeping down the "diet" path (for lack of a better word).
My next move is trying to figure out what I need to eat in a day (calorie, protien, fat and carb wise) and how to sort all that out and come up with a schedule that will work for me. I have to plan plan plan.
Friday, February 9, 2007
Brilliant Idea... but will it work
In the pondering of how am I going to find the money to do this, why do I want to add more debt to my life, what about that house you want to buy, when will this all work out, I can up with an idea. I brilliant idea. Maybe.
I call the labband financing number to see what they say, they got me in touch with a lender. Sun Trust Bank. I talked to the woman about my options - collateral loans vs. non collateral loans. What I can use for collateral (my car) and how long it would take to pay back. OK, something to think about.
Then I was thinking - why use a new bank who doesn't know me? So I contacted my financial guy who set up my IRA, the guy who knows how much money I have and how much money I make. He in turn found a loan guy for me to talk to. I hope to talk to him soon. He can tell me what I can borrow and what I can use for collateral... etc.
So here is my brilliant idea. I want to buy a house or condo or something. Especially if I am going to be here for a few years. The prices are way better than they were last year. I am a first time buyer, a female first time buyer. So why can't I process a home loan and use $20K to get my surgury and the rest to buy the condo?
I call the labband financing number to see what they say, they got me in touch with a lender. Sun Trust Bank. I talked to the woman about my options - collateral loans vs. non collateral loans. What I can use for collateral (my car) and how long it would take to pay back. OK, something to think about.
Then I was thinking - why use a new bank who doesn't know me? So I contacted my financial guy who set up my IRA, the guy who knows how much money I have and how much money I make. He in turn found a loan guy for me to talk to. I hope to talk to him soon. He can tell me what I can borrow and what I can use for collateral... etc.
So here is my brilliant idea. I want to buy a house or condo or something. Especially if I am going to be here for a few years. The prices are way better than they were last year. I am a first time buyer, a female first time buyer. So why can't I process a home loan and use $20K to get my surgury and the rest to buy the condo?
WHY
"The secret of happiness is freedom, the secret of the freedom - courage." - Thueydides
Because I want to be healthy.
Because I am tired of losing the battle against the scale.
Because I want to travel with ease.
Because I don't want my back to hurt anymore.
Because I don't want my feet and joints to hurt.
Because I don't want to have to go to the bathroom every 2 hours. (my friend pointed out that this is probably because of my blood pressure meds - but either way it comes back to being over weight.)
Because I don't want to have to take any pills for anything any more (cholesterol, blood pressure, depression....)
Because I don't want to be tired for no reason anymore (or lethargic, or sleepy...)
Because I want to be able to shop anywhere and wear anything I want.
Because I want to learn and do cool things like SCUBA diving and swing dance.
Because I never want to be held back for any reason, especially my appearance.
Because I never want to hear "you have such a pretty face..." ever again.
Because I never want to have a dicussion about losing weight with anyone EVER again.
Because I don't want to struggle against my evil metabolism ever again.
Because I am tired of gaining weight even though I am trying to lose.
Because I am tired of spending money on the never ending fight against gaining and the fight to lose.
Because I need help and this (the lap band) will always be with me.
Because I want to dance.
Because I want mom to do it too.
Because I want to dance.
Because I want my life back, the fat can't have it.
Because I want to be healthy.
Because I am tired of losing the battle against the scale.
Because I want to travel with ease.
Because I don't want my back to hurt anymore.
Because I don't want my feet and joints to hurt.
Because I don't want to have to go to the bathroom every 2 hours. (my friend pointed out that this is probably because of my blood pressure meds - but either way it comes back to being over weight.)
Because I don't want to have to take any pills for anything any more (cholesterol, blood pressure, depression....)
Because I don't want to be tired for no reason anymore (or lethargic, or sleepy...)
Because I want to be able to shop anywhere and wear anything I want.
Because I want to learn and do cool things like SCUBA diving and swing dance.
Because I never want to be held back for any reason, especially my appearance.
Because I never want to hear "you have such a pretty face..." ever again.
Because I never want to have a dicussion about losing weight with anyone EVER again.
Because I don't want to struggle against my evil metabolism ever again.
Because I am tired of gaining weight even though I am trying to lose.
Because I am tired of spending money on the never ending fight against gaining and the fight to lose.
Because I need help and this (the lap band) will always be with me.
Because I want to dance.
Because I want mom to do it too.
Because I want to dance.
Because I want my life back, the fat can't have it.
The money struggle.
With the exclusion clause in my insurance I am in search of funding. The Lap-Band website had some interesting links about financing and being able to claim this cost on taxes. I had a conversion with my dad that I thought I was ready for but I guess I wasn't because I couldn't answer the questions he asked. I had to go back and research and think about them.
Q: Is the surgery guaranteed? Meaning, with there be weight loss if you shell out $20K?
A: Nothing is 100%. You definately had to have your mind set right (which I finally do) and adhere to a program of eating and exercising - which I am already adjusting to. Can you slip in high calorie milk shakes and sabotage your success? Yes. The main selling point, for me, is not the weight LOSS, but the PERMANENT weight loss. This surgery, this tool, makes it possible for you to MAINTAIN this eating style and weight loss.
Q: Is this what you want?
A: Yes. Again, I have already started (yet again) to change my eating habits and exercise regime. I am doing well and slowly losing weight, but even in my attempt I am stuggling - not to eat less but against the caveman body instinct to hold on to what it has. Which was explained in the seminar... your body is still caveman-like - it knows it wants to survive and when you deprive it, it will hold on to what it has... and after years of doing this - it just does it automatically - in times of famine and excess. Mostly excess. This tool, along with the program, nutritionist, exercise encouragement, support groups etc. not to mention the emotional and psychological process of getting to this decision being in the frame of mind to FINALLY GET THIS DONE, will help you overcome the caveman.
I have a list of "Why's". Why I want this. I finally sat down and wrote them all out. And more come to me everyday. I will list them in the next post.
Q: Is the surgery guaranteed? Meaning, with there be weight loss if you shell out $20K?
A: Nothing is 100%. You definately had to have your mind set right (which I finally do) and adhere to a program of eating and exercising - which I am already adjusting to. Can you slip in high calorie milk shakes and sabotage your success? Yes. The main selling point, for me, is not the weight LOSS, but the PERMANENT weight loss. This surgery, this tool, makes it possible for you to MAINTAIN this eating style and weight loss.
Q: Is this what you want?
A: Yes. Again, I have already started (yet again) to change my eating habits and exercise regime. I am doing well and slowly losing weight, but even in my attempt I am stuggling - not to eat less but against the caveman body instinct to hold on to what it has. Which was explained in the seminar... your body is still caveman-like - it knows it wants to survive and when you deprive it, it will hold on to what it has... and after years of doing this - it just does it automatically - in times of famine and excess. Mostly excess. This tool, along with the program, nutritionist, exercise encouragement, support groups etc. not to mention the emotional and psychological process of getting to this decision being in the frame of mind to FINALLY GET THIS DONE, will help you overcome the caveman.
I have a list of "Why's". Why I want this. I finally sat down and wrote them all out. And more come to me everyday. I will list them in the next post.
Thursday, February 1, 2007
SET BACK AND DEVASTATION
My insurance sucks. They have an exclusion for morbid obesity. That means they not only will not pay for the surgery - but I can't argue to get them to change their minds. It is not a denial, its an exclusion. On to Plan B. More correctly - on to planning Plan B. I will need to talk to my father, and I have a number for a place that finances the Lap-Band - more debt is always high on my priority list (add sarcastic tone here).
In the meantime, I am overcoming the debilitating depression that has gripped me the last few months (better living through pharmacology). With less depression in my life, I can concentrate and focus full bore on diet and exercise. I am working on cleaning this weekend and setting up and exercise area (again) and I have already been eating way better in the last few months - lack of appetite from depression (which is odd for me - usually it goes the other way around) plus just more of a focus on protien and veggies... I think one of my new meds has given me an aversion to carbs and sweets which is way OK with me.
So even though I have been given this blow, I am not down and definately not out. I will keep going without the lapband, keep working on funding for it, but maybe I will find a way beyond it. The biggest problems are the plataeus and the regaining. So let's see how it goes.
In the meantime, I am overcoming the debilitating depression that has gripped me the last few months (better living through pharmacology). With less depression in my life, I can concentrate and focus full bore on diet and exercise. I am working on cleaning this weekend and setting up and exercise area (again) and I have already been eating way better in the last few months - lack of appetite from depression (which is odd for me - usually it goes the other way around) plus just more of a focus on protien and veggies... I think one of my new meds has given me an aversion to carbs and sweets which is way OK with me.
So even though I have been given this blow, I am not down and definately not out. I will keep going without the lapband, keep working on funding for it, but maybe I will find a way beyond it. The biggest problems are the plataeus and the regaining. So let's see how it goes.
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